I'm going to rant today. I'm feeling VERY ranty.
Why can't people be civil during the end of a relationship? Why must it always turn to games, and being the victor? Why can't they just split peacefully and move on with their lives?
I've seen several of my very good friends in recent years end their marriages, or just long-term relationships. Almost all of them were due to their spouses cheating. What really gets me is, spouse cheats, then tries to do everything in their power to make the situation hard on the one they cheated on. Seriously? This can't be how this always plays out. I just don't get it. You (general) obviously, at one point in time, really loved this person. Now, you're just tossing them to the curb with nothing, and you don't care?
I have a plea to anyone who is about to end their marriage: be nice about it. Our feelings change, and some times, people just don't want to be married anymore. That's absolutely valid. Your feelings are valid. But that doesn't mean you should start looking for someone else so that you don't have to be alone, or to "try it out" before you make the final decision. It's dishonest. Your spouse doesn't suspect a thing, but you're chatting up other women and making plans to meet them? That's horrible. And it does make you a cheater. And you are wrong for it. It makes you look like a terrible human being with no regard for anyone but yourself and your own desires. How hard is it to say, "I don't think I want to be married anymore." Your spouse will be hurt, but it will sting less if you tell them before you've moved on. Their feelings count for something, too. Or did you forget that?
And if your spouse has relied on you to pay the bills, and has moved away from their support net to be with you and support your career, and has no where to go, and no way to get where they need to go--don't be an asshole. Help them. YOU decided to end this relationship. The least you can do, is be civil, and help them go back home.
Women are just as bad as some of these men, I have seen it first hand with my own parent's marriage, but fsking-a. It frustrates me so much to see people I love getting their world ripped apart because someone they trusted and loved is a liar.
Be kind to each other. Just because a relationship has ended, doesn't mean WWIII needs to erupt. Divorces would be less messy if people were honest with their spouses about how they were feeling, and ended the relationship before they met someone else--because that betrayal, is what generally sends people over the edge and then they're out to hurt the offender in any way possible. People always say it just happens, but I think if they were honest with themselves, they'd see that they'd been unhappy for a while, and it "happening" was a result of that.
I really wish that people acted with more kindness and compassion, and thought about things before they acted on impulse. I think there would be less broken hearts that way.
<3
Monday, December 19, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
Updateness!
So, I realized yesterday, that I hadn't blogged in approximately two months. Lots of stuff has been going on. Apologies.
Mini Sarge has warmed up considerably faster to Sarge than I expected, but it is wonderful. I get the warm fuzzies inside when I seem then interact. I really missed that while he was gone.
Mini Sarge was also evaluated by Early Intervention back in the beginning of November. She wanted to move forward, but I wanted to give him more time to catch up before we did anything. He has caught up a significant amount just since Sarge has gotten back. So, that makes me hopeful that we won't need any professional intervention on getting him back on track. Back when she came, I could have written pages on how the visit went and how it made me feel and the guilt I was carrying about his development... but those feelings are gone now. They have been dealt with. If any of it was my fault, due to lack of trying, or laziness, or what not, then so be it. We are a family again. Things are normal, he is catching up. That, is what matters. I can't blame myself for doing the best I could alone. It's a hard thing to come to terms with, but it's important for people in situations similar to mine to do. There is enough guilt to carry as parents, this doesn't need to be added to it all.
Sarge's parents and brother visited us for Thanksgiving. That was lovely. I adore my MIL. We'll see them again next week, which should be fun. :)
I turned 25 on Thanksgiving. Whoo-hoo. I think? Ha. Some days, I feel much older than 25.
I had surgery on the 6th, to diagnose some pain I'd been dealing with for the past 6 years off and on. I had a diagnostic laproscopy. It's a same day surgery, so I came home that afternoon. Turns out, suspicions were correct, and I have endometriosis. The good news is that it was a mild case, and so long as we keep an eye out for it coming back, we shouldn't have any fertility problems in the future. I was really nervous about the severity of it, but luck was definitely on our side. Now I can move forward, with answers, and take things as they come, and not worry about whether or not we're going to have a hard time getting pregnant again when the time comes.
Future babies are still on hold. ;)
So yeah. Busy last two months. They have been wonderful, though. I'm looking forward to things settling down a bit for a while, and then PCSing out of here next Spring. It's going to be an adventure!
<3
Mini Sarge has warmed up considerably faster to Sarge than I expected, but it is wonderful. I get the warm fuzzies inside when I seem then interact. I really missed that while he was gone.
Mini Sarge was also evaluated by Early Intervention back in the beginning of November. She wanted to move forward, but I wanted to give him more time to catch up before we did anything. He has caught up a significant amount just since Sarge has gotten back. So, that makes me hopeful that we won't need any professional intervention on getting him back on track. Back when she came, I could have written pages on how the visit went and how it made me feel and the guilt I was carrying about his development... but those feelings are gone now. They have been dealt with. If any of it was my fault, due to lack of trying, or laziness, or what not, then so be it. We are a family again. Things are normal, he is catching up. That, is what matters. I can't blame myself for doing the best I could alone. It's a hard thing to come to terms with, but it's important for people in situations similar to mine to do. There is enough guilt to carry as parents, this doesn't need to be added to it all.
Sarge's parents and brother visited us for Thanksgiving. That was lovely. I adore my MIL. We'll see them again next week, which should be fun. :)
I turned 25 on Thanksgiving. Whoo-hoo. I think? Ha. Some days, I feel much older than 25.
I had surgery on the 6th, to diagnose some pain I'd been dealing with for the past 6 years off and on. I had a diagnostic laproscopy. It's a same day surgery, so I came home that afternoon. Turns out, suspicions were correct, and I have endometriosis. The good news is that it was a mild case, and so long as we keep an eye out for it coming back, we shouldn't have any fertility problems in the future. I was really nervous about the severity of it, but luck was definitely on our side. Now I can move forward, with answers, and take things as they come, and not worry about whether or not we're going to have a hard time getting pregnant again when the time comes.
Future babies are still on hold. ;)
So yeah. Busy last two months. They have been wonderful, though. I'm looking forward to things settling down a bit for a while, and then PCSing out of here next Spring. It's going to be an adventure!
<3
Friday, October 21, 2011
Home! Finally.
I can finally say, this deployment is over. :)
Sarge landed Wednesday afternoon. It was cold, and rainy, and Mini Sarge flipped out when all the cheering started, but it was a good day.
We started out by leaving immediately after Mini Sarge woke up from his nap. I put his shirt and shoes on and threw him in the car, which was nice and toasty. We drove down to the designated location and got onto the bus that would taxi us to the airfield. I thought he would be more difficult to deal with on the bus, but he did very well. We got inside and he ran around the hangar.
At first, time was going sooo slow, and I was cursing wearing heels and this dress. But, the next thing I knew, the plane was landing and we were asked to take our seats so we could start.
For those who have never been, the welcome home ceremonies go as follows.
--Families arrive 2 hours before scheduled flight lands. This is to make sure that everyone is there, in case the plane is early.
--15 minutes or so before the plane lands, families are allowed to go outside and watch the soldiers exit the plane.
--Soldiers go into a separate building, drop off their stuff, and get into formation. Families return inside.
--Hangar doors open, soldiers march in. They are not allowed to look at you. You must restrain your children from running out and pouncing on them.
--A person or two gives a speech. Everyone curses them in their heads for not talking faster.
--Soldiers are released for 15 minutes or so.
--Soldiers get back in formation, families return to seats.
--Soldiers exit and get on buses.
--After they have left the airfield, families are allowed to get back on buses.
--Get in your car, drive down to x-location and chat and wait for soldiers to be released. Generally, this takes about 1.5-2 hours.
--Finally get your loved one, and go the eff home.
Luckily, we live about a mile or so from Sarge's work, so we came home and got something to eat and got Mini Sarge bathed. Unfortunately, he was a bit worked up, so bedtime was a bit later than usual, but it wasn't bad.
Sarge and I ate and he passed out early. He ended up waking up at 3:30 the next morning, ready to go... and I got up with him, even though I didn't fall asleep until almost midnight, ha. I was such a zombie yesterday.
He's on day 2 of his mandatory 7 day reintegration stuff. After that, it's back to work until block leave. But, hey, I'm not complaining. He's home, right? :)
Sarge landed Wednesday afternoon. It was cold, and rainy, and Mini Sarge flipped out when all the cheering started, but it was a good day.
I totally feel like Jessica Rabbit, only blonde and with a purple dress, in this picture, lol.
We started out by leaving immediately after Mini Sarge woke up from his nap. I put his shirt and shoes on and threw him in the car, which was nice and toasty. We drove down to the designated location and got onto the bus that would taxi us to the airfield. I thought he would be more difficult to deal with on the bus, but he did very well. We got inside and he ran around the hangar.
At first, time was going sooo slow, and I was cursing wearing heels and this dress. But, the next thing I knew, the plane was landing and we were asked to take our seats so we could start.
For those who have never been, the welcome home ceremonies go as follows.
--Families arrive 2 hours before scheduled flight lands. This is to make sure that everyone is there, in case the plane is early.
--15 minutes or so before the plane lands, families are allowed to go outside and watch the soldiers exit the plane.
--Soldiers go into a separate building, drop off their stuff, and get into formation. Families return inside.
--Hangar doors open, soldiers march in. They are not allowed to look at you. You must restrain your children from running out and pouncing on them.
--A person or two gives a speech. Everyone curses them in their heads for not talking faster.
--Soldiers are released for 15 minutes or so.
--Soldiers get back in formation, families return to seats.
--Soldiers exit and get on buses.
--After they have left the airfield, families are allowed to get back on buses.
--Get in your car, drive down to x-location and chat and wait for soldiers to be released. Generally, this takes about 1.5-2 hours.
--Finally get your loved one, and go the eff home.
Luckily, we live about a mile or so from Sarge's work, so we came home and got something to eat and got Mini Sarge bathed. Unfortunately, he was a bit worked up, so bedtime was a bit later than usual, but it wasn't bad.
Sarge and I ate and he passed out early. He ended up waking up at 3:30 the next morning, ready to go... and I got up with him, even though I didn't fall asleep until almost midnight, ha. I was such a zombie yesterday.
He's on day 2 of his mandatory 7 day reintegration stuff. After that, it's back to work until block leave. But, hey, I'm not complaining. He's home, right? :)
Thursday, October 6, 2011
:/
I think this is the most sad I've been the entire deployment, which makes no sense considering how close we are to done.
I guess the first few weeks, and the last few weeks are always the hardest.
My biggest frustration lately has been planning an outfit to pick him up in. I know that sounds incredibly ridiculous. How hard could it be? It's just clothes.
It is just clothes. However, if there is one thing I generally dress up for (because I am definitely a t-shirt and jeans girl), it's homecoming. There's something to be said about a little extra effort in my appearance after he's been gone a year. I don't want to be that girl in the hanger that looks like she rolled out of bed and came down (which, happens more than you might think).
The problem, this go around, is that I have a toddler. I have absolutely no problem dressing sexy, but sexy often means low neck lines and high heels--both things that could be disastrous with the right set of circumstances (um, bus ride and chasing a toddler around a plane hanger? Blah!). So, I've been trying to balance something sexy with something practical... which leaves me feeling like a soccer mom.
I wanted to do a wrap dress, but Mini Sarge is not one to let momma try on clothes in the store--he just doesn't have the patience. And either having to ship something back or drive back to the mall to return it, just isn't appealing (although, I may end up at Kohls later this week if I can't come to terms with that I've picked out).
Then, when I do find something cute, I think "am I ever going to wear this again?" Frivolous spending when I still worked and we had tons of play-cash every month was not a big deal, but we are on a budget now. And $40+ on a top I might wear again sometime in the future isn't a wise purchase in my book.
Right now, I'm set on a pair of jeans, boots with a nice heel on them, and a lace trimmed tank top in a color he loves on me, with a cute sweater in case it's cold.
I'm still very meh about it. :/
Another thing that has me down, is I haven't been able to work out in over a month! So, I feel lazy. And lazy makes me feel whaleish (even though I haven't gained a pound).
I hurt my wrist (those who know me, know that this is a reoccurring injury that I've been dealing with for about 6 years now) and haven't been able to get it healed up before something happens again. Right now, the culprit is Mini Sarge. He keeps jumping off the couch, or running into me, or sitting (yes) on my wrist. I get okay, and he brings back the pain. x.x He's out to get me. I can't even push the stroller some days. -_-
I need a distraction for the next x amount of days (nope, can't and won't tell you. OPSEC nazi's would be beating down my door). I've got some errands that I've been putting off. Perhaps, I'll knock that list out.
Pray for my sanity!!! :)
<3
I guess the first few weeks, and the last few weeks are always the hardest.
My biggest frustration lately has been planning an outfit to pick him up in. I know that sounds incredibly ridiculous. How hard could it be? It's just clothes.
It is just clothes. However, if there is one thing I generally dress up for (because I am definitely a t-shirt and jeans girl), it's homecoming. There's something to be said about a little extra effort in my appearance after he's been gone a year. I don't want to be that girl in the hanger that looks like she rolled out of bed and came down (which, happens more than you might think).
The problem, this go around, is that I have a toddler. I have absolutely no problem dressing sexy, but sexy often means low neck lines and high heels--both things that could be disastrous with the right set of circumstances (um, bus ride and chasing a toddler around a plane hanger? Blah!). So, I've been trying to balance something sexy with something practical... which leaves me feeling like a soccer mom.
I wanted to do a wrap dress, but Mini Sarge is not one to let momma try on clothes in the store--he just doesn't have the patience. And either having to ship something back or drive back to the mall to return it, just isn't appealing (although, I may end up at Kohls later this week if I can't come to terms with that I've picked out).
Then, when I do find something cute, I think "am I ever going to wear this again?" Frivolous spending when I still worked and we had tons of play-cash every month was not a big deal, but we are on a budget now. And $40+ on a top I might wear again sometime in the future isn't a wise purchase in my book.
Right now, I'm set on a pair of jeans, boots with a nice heel on them, and a lace trimmed tank top in a color he loves on me, with a cute sweater in case it's cold.
I'm still very meh about it. :/
Another thing that has me down, is I haven't been able to work out in over a month! So, I feel lazy. And lazy makes me feel whaleish (even though I haven't gained a pound).
I hurt my wrist (those who know me, know that this is a reoccurring injury that I've been dealing with for about 6 years now) and haven't been able to get it healed up before something happens again. Right now, the culprit is Mini Sarge. He keeps jumping off the couch, or running into me, or sitting (yes) on my wrist. I get okay, and he brings back the pain. x.x He's out to get me. I can't even push the stroller some days. -_-
I need a distraction for the next x amount of days (nope, can't and won't tell you. OPSEC nazi's would be beating down my door). I've got some errands that I've been putting off. Perhaps, I'll knock that list out.
Pray for my sanity!!! :)
<3
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Memory Lane Nightmare
Hello! I don't remember how the topic started, but some online mommy friends and I got to talking about blogs and I mentioned that I'd blogged over the years, and how it was never anything as interesting as they were talking about. And I knew that my old Xanga and LiveJournal accounts were still open, so I went to Google to find them and decide whether or not they were in need of deletion. Which, is something I never thought of doing before, but for some reason, yesterday, decided I needed to.
The great thing about using the same username every where, is that it's not hard to find lost accounts and passwords. Being dumb and using the same password or two, also makes this feat easy to accomplish. First was the LiveJournal. The last time I'd updated that one, was in '07 when we were in MI. I didn't take the time to look through old posts. I deleted it on the spot.
Xanga was next. That one ran from fall of '04 up until right before I left with Sarge to MI in '06. So, about a two year time span. However, it featured probably the worst year of my life, in great detail. Because, let's face it, 17/18 year olds don't really think in the long-term. There was a lot of embarrassing, regrettable, personal information on there. Stuff, I realized I did not want someone to randomly find. Stuff I shouldn't have posted to begin with (emails and chat conversations that were private in nature). Stuff, that reading through (and I did. Took me several hours to read through all the posts), made me want to smack myself. I had gotten involved with several people in a rather short time period, and each was more dramatic than the one before it. Then, there was the chronicle that was my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, who was my first boyfriend and not just someone I was seeing. And reading through all those posts... I don't know why I was so enamored (well, I do, but it was an unhealthy attachment). And I don't know why I was so angry at him for so long, and so hung up. We broke up for a valid, selfless reason--but I couldn't let go, because of how important I had made him out to be, and made a fool out of myself chasing after him. It's sad seeing how much self-esteem I lacked back then. And, it's gone now, but a conversation we had really opened my eyes to it and changed me for the better. I was such a pain in the ass then, makes me want to apologize and say thank you, but I think that might be awkward after six years have passed, don't you think? Ha.
Reading through it all, I am so lucky to have made it through without any permanent damage to myself. I put myself in so many bad situations, and ignored all the good advice that was given to me.
Good lord, I hope I never have a daughter.
Actually, I take that back. I hope I do. And, I hope to raise her better, and make sure that she knows she's worth more and deserves the world. And if someone can't deliver, then she doesn't need to stick around. Everyone has worth, and deserves to be with someone who treats them with respect and makes them feel loved. Anything less is pointless.
So, what's on your old blogs?
The great thing about using the same username every where, is that it's not hard to find lost accounts and passwords. Being dumb and using the same password or two, also makes this feat easy to accomplish. First was the LiveJournal. The last time I'd updated that one, was in '07 when we were in MI. I didn't take the time to look through old posts. I deleted it on the spot.
Xanga was next. That one ran from fall of '04 up until right before I left with Sarge to MI in '06. So, about a two year time span. However, it featured probably the worst year of my life, in great detail. Because, let's face it, 17/18 year olds don't really think in the long-term. There was a lot of embarrassing, regrettable, personal information on there. Stuff, I realized I did not want someone to randomly find. Stuff I shouldn't have posted to begin with (emails and chat conversations that were private in nature). Stuff, that reading through (and I did. Took me several hours to read through all the posts), made me want to smack myself. I had gotten involved with several people in a rather short time period, and each was more dramatic than the one before it. Then, there was the chronicle that was my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, who was my first boyfriend and not just someone I was seeing. And reading through all those posts... I don't know why I was so enamored (well, I do, but it was an unhealthy attachment). And I don't know why I was so angry at him for so long, and so hung up. We broke up for a valid, selfless reason--but I couldn't let go, because of how important I had made him out to be, and made a fool out of myself chasing after him. It's sad seeing how much self-esteem I lacked back then. And, it's gone now, but a conversation we had really opened my eyes to it and changed me for the better. I was such a pain in the ass then, makes me want to apologize and say thank you, but I think that might be awkward after six years have passed, don't you think? Ha.
Reading through it all, I am so lucky to have made it through without any permanent damage to myself. I put myself in so many bad situations, and ignored all the good advice that was given to me.
Good lord, I hope I never have a daughter.
Actually, I take that back. I hope I do. And, I hope to raise her better, and make sure that she knows she's worth more and deserves the world. And if someone can't deliver, then she doesn't need to stick around. Everyone has worth, and deserves to be with someone who treats them with respect and makes them feel loved. Anything less is pointless.
So, what's on your old blogs?
Friday, September 2, 2011
Victory!
I have officially completed thirty days of my "30 Day Shred" workout video. Granted, it took me 45 days to do it... but, I did it! It feels pretty good to accomplish that. I have every intention of continuing though, because I hardly feel "shredded."
As a celebration, I have bought some new jeans. I had jeans from last year, that were a size 10 or 12, that were falling off. I can now fit into a 6. :) However, I tried on a pair of 8s, that were comfier and allowed me to run after MiniSarge and play with him, so I bought a few of those. And, I must say, I am in love with the denim from American Eagle. It's just preppy enough for me, without being too much. And the price isn't so bad either. Hehe. I'm sure the $100+ jeans I was drooling over are awesome, but $30-45 a pair is much nicer on our wallet. :)
Um, let's see, while I have a few minutes before the monster awakes from his nap, I'll update a bit more on how things have been here in our house.
We've begun counting down weeks until this deployment ends, which is exciting, but I'm having trouble getting too excited just yet. I'm more in the mandatory impatient/grumpy mode right now. When I can count days, I'll be happy.
We've dropped to one nap, which has made things easier and harder at the same time.
We're cutting the 3rd and 4th molar currently, which makes the days so fun.
MiniSarge can now run, spin, throw things over-hand, and jump. I'm assuming climbing is next.
I have not been able to keep up with my reading goals. Which, kinda of bums me out. I did pick up a book I'd started a few weeks ago today, and read a few pages while MiniSarge destroyed my living room.
I have been able to keep up with my Netflix movies. And, I haven't really been reading the paper (I read something the other day about a guy drag racing with his gf/wife and 3 year old daughter in the car and crashed, and I threw the paper down. Between that and the articles on fallen soldiers, I give up.), nor magazines.
But, we have been making progress on being more social, and I've kept up the working out, so I feel pretty good. I would feel a lot better if Sarge's internet company weren't a flock of douche bags and we could talk... but, soon that won't be an issue anyway, right? Trying to spin the positive on that. :)
Not so bad here at our house. I am begging for the fall weather to come (yes, partially so I can strut around in my new jeans :D), but it'll be here soon enough. Next month will be awesome!
I will try to update more frequently. Until next time!
<3
As a celebration, I have bought some new jeans. I had jeans from last year, that were a size 10 or 12, that were falling off. I can now fit into a 6. :) However, I tried on a pair of 8s, that were comfier and allowed me to run after MiniSarge and play with him, so I bought a few of those. And, I must say, I am in love with the denim from American Eagle. It's just preppy enough for me, without being too much. And the price isn't so bad either. Hehe. I'm sure the $100+ jeans I was drooling over are awesome, but $30-45 a pair is much nicer on our wallet. :)
Um, let's see, while I have a few minutes before the monster awakes from his nap, I'll update a bit more on how things have been here in our house.
We've begun counting down weeks until this deployment ends, which is exciting, but I'm having trouble getting too excited just yet. I'm more in the mandatory impatient/grumpy mode right now. When I can count days, I'll be happy.
We've dropped to one nap, which has made things easier and harder at the same time.
We're cutting the 3rd and 4th molar currently, which makes the days so fun.
MiniSarge can now run, spin, throw things over-hand, and jump. I'm assuming climbing is next.
I have not been able to keep up with my reading goals. Which, kinda of bums me out. I did pick up a book I'd started a few weeks ago today, and read a few pages while MiniSarge destroyed my living room.
I have been able to keep up with my Netflix movies. And, I haven't really been reading the paper (I read something the other day about a guy drag racing with his gf/wife and 3 year old daughter in the car and crashed, and I threw the paper down. Between that and the articles on fallen soldiers, I give up.), nor magazines.
But, we have been making progress on being more social, and I've kept up the working out, so I feel pretty good. I would feel a lot better if Sarge's internet company weren't a flock of douche bags and we could talk... but, soon that won't be an issue anyway, right? Trying to spin the positive on that. :)
Not so bad here at our house. I am begging for the fall weather to come (yes, partially so I can strut around in my new jeans :D), but it'll be here soon enough. Next month will be awesome!
I will try to update more frequently. Until next time!
<3
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Weight Loss, Round Two!
I realized today that when my husband is home, I feel thin. But when he's gone, and the days pass without real contact with other adults, I start to lose the battle of my perception of how much I weigh. It's not that he's overweight, but he is bigger than me. He is wider than me. He is taller than me. And when he hugs me, I feel tiny. When he's not here... I feel like a whale, lol.
So, I've started the Shred again (Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred, for those who don't know what I'm talking about--faithful readers, you might remember that I attempted this in January or February of this year). I've actually stuck with it a lot longer than my previous attempts. I think I only made it 12 days on level 1 the last time before I hurt myself, did it one more time, and gave up. I have a new plan of action this time, and it's going well. :) I do three days on, one day off. And so far, have made it to 15 days of working out, with no injuries! And, the kicker, have made it to the second level. lol It's like a video game in that sense. Muuuust, make it... to... the next.... level!!! (<-The inner gamer inside, pushing me forward).
I did have to downgrade my weights from a set of 5lb to a set of 3lb weights. No shame though! I can finally keep up, and my arms are still tired. ;)
I've seen some progress. Nothing crazy, but I feel significantly less flabby, even though I've gained a few pounds (It's muscle! It HAS to be!). My new shorts that I bought a month ago fit better--not so snug these days! I definitely have more energy, and my moods have improved. Mini Sarge and I play more.
Now... if only the heat will die off, and we can begin taking walks again. Possibly jogs.... maybe. Ha.
Speaking of... someone is awake from his nap. Fingers crossed that I continue to do well with this, and reach my goal of being total sexy-sauce when Sarge gets back in a few months. ;)
xoxo
So, I've started the Shred again (Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred, for those who don't know what I'm talking about--faithful readers, you might remember that I attempted this in January or February of this year). I've actually stuck with it a lot longer than my previous attempts. I think I only made it 12 days on level 1 the last time before I hurt myself, did it one more time, and gave up. I have a new plan of action this time, and it's going well. :) I do three days on, one day off. And so far, have made it to 15 days of working out, with no injuries! And, the kicker, have made it to the second level. lol It's like a video game in that sense. Muuuust, make it... to... the next.... level!!! (<-The inner gamer inside, pushing me forward).
I did have to downgrade my weights from a set of 5lb to a set of 3lb weights. No shame though! I can finally keep up, and my arms are still tired. ;)
I've seen some progress. Nothing crazy, but I feel significantly less flabby, even though I've gained a few pounds (It's muscle! It HAS to be!). My new shorts that I bought a month ago fit better--not so snug these days! I definitely have more energy, and my moods have improved. Mini Sarge and I play more.
Now... if only the heat will die off, and we can begin taking walks again. Possibly jogs.... maybe. Ha.
Speaking of... someone is awake from his nap. Fingers crossed that I continue to do well with this, and reach my goal of being total sexy-sauce when Sarge gets back in a few months. ;)
xoxo
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Daycare???
I feel so stupid. Why does the thought of me dropping Mini-Sarge off at daycare so I can make a doctor's appointment for myself make me want to cry? I'm already stubborn enough as is it when it comes to going to the doctor, add in having to schedule him in at hourly care/finding a sitter, and you might as well fuhgeddaboudit.
I really can't explain it. It makes sense, to just schedule the appointment, get him a slot in daycare, go to my appointment, and carry on. But I don't know if I can leave him there. It's hard enough to leave him with a friend. I wonder if I would feel better if I hired a sitter for a few hours, so he could at least be in his own house.
That's even more ridiculous, isn't it? lol
I wish he was super easy and would sit there and be quiet, and he could just come with me. :(
Why does being a mommy have to be so hard? I wish I got along with my mom and she lived in the area. Or maybe if my mother-in-law lived in the area. Or I had friends w/o kids that I trusted to come over. Have plenty of friends with kids... but, I feel bad pushing another on them, lol.
Hating this. :/ It's stupid that I can deal with my husband being away and all sorts of other crazy crap that drives people nuts, but I can't stand the thought of daycare for a few hours. There must be something wrong with my brain, one way or the other.
I really can't explain it. It makes sense, to just schedule the appointment, get him a slot in daycare, go to my appointment, and carry on. But I don't know if I can leave him there. It's hard enough to leave him with a friend. I wonder if I would feel better if I hired a sitter for a few hours, so he could at least be in his own house.
That's even more ridiculous, isn't it? lol
I wish he was super easy and would sit there and be quiet, and he could just come with me. :(
Why does being a mommy have to be so hard? I wish I got along with my mom and she lived in the area. Or maybe if my mother-in-law lived in the area. Or I had friends w/o kids that I trusted to come over. Have plenty of friends with kids... but, I feel bad pushing another on them, lol.
Hating this. :/ It's stupid that I can deal with my husband being away and all sorts of other crazy crap that drives people nuts, but I can't stand the thought of daycare for a few hours. There must be something wrong with my brain, one way or the other.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Meh.
I think I have reached that point of this deployment (see graph in a previous post) where I've about just lost it and am over it and want it to be done. Now.
I'm soooo over it. We are just shy of 90 days out. In the home stretch! I should be rallying and pushing through with confidence. But, I feel like I'm crumbling. And it makes me feel like a crappy, lazy mom, and then the mommy guilt sets in, and it's this vicious cycle of tiredness and doubt.
Everyone keeps telling me it's time for Mini Sarge to go to hourly care a few hours a week, or to drop him off at someone's for a while and take some time for myself. I appreciate the thought, but I really don't think that's going to recharge my battery. I just need my other half here. I don't even really need help with the kid duties... I just want him home so I can have some adult conversation, and someone to give me a hug, and someone to sit and watch a movie with after Mini Sarge goes to sleep.
And, ya know, a trip to Target without kid and diaper bag in tow every once and a while. ;)
Bleh. I talked to Sarge about it last night a bit, but I got kinda upset. I can't even get out of bed in the morning before 8--he wakes up at 7 or so. And I feel bad that he's in there close to an hour every morning before I can peel myself off my pillow. I've tried and tried to get out of bed, but there is just no doing it. It's really strange, because for years, I used to get up between 3:30 and 4 am, jump out of bed, get ready, and go to work like it wasn't a big deal. Now, I can't even get up at 6 or 6:30 so I can get a workout in. How does that make sense?
And there are milestones he hasn't hit yet, that he probably should have already. And, for the most part, I know it's my fault for not working with him more (we don't point, clap, or wave yet. But he can put on his sunglasses, lol. That counts for something, right?).
I just feel so... lazy. I don't want to be a lazy mommy. :(
I'm soooo over it. We are just shy of 90 days out. In the home stretch! I should be rallying and pushing through with confidence. But, I feel like I'm crumbling. And it makes me feel like a crappy, lazy mom, and then the mommy guilt sets in, and it's this vicious cycle of tiredness and doubt.
Everyone keeps telling me it's time for Mini Sarge to go to hourly care a few hours a week, or to drop him off at someone's for a while and take some time for myself. I appreciate the thought, but I really don't think that's going to recharge my battery. I just need my other half here. I don't even really need help with the kid duties... I just want him home so I can have some adult conversation, and someone to give me a hug, and someone to sit and watch a movie with after Mini Sarge goes to sleep.
And, ya know, a trip to Target without kid and diaper bag in tow every once and a while. ;)
Bleh. I talked to Sarge about it last night a bit, but I got kinda upset. I can't even get out of bed in the morning before 8--he wakes up at 7 or so. And I feel bad that he's in there close to an hour every morning before I can peel myself off my pillow. I've tried and tried to get out of bed, but there is just no doing it. It's really strange, because for years, I used to get up between 3:30 and 4 am, jump out of bed, get ready, and go to work like it wasn't a big deal. Now, I can't even get up at 6 or 6:30 so I can get a workout in. How does that make sense?
And there are milestones he hasn't hit yet, that he probably should have already. And, for the most part, I know it's my fault for not working with him more (we don't point, clap, or wave yet. But he can put on his sunglasses, lol. That counts for something, right?).
I just feel so... lazy. I don't want to be a lazy mommy. :(
Saturday, July 2, 2011
I've been bit!
Baby bug, go AWAY.
Why is baby stuff so freaking cute?? I think it's designed to mess with my brain. I see it and go "aaaaaaaaaaaw! I WANT one!" XD
So many people are pregnant, or just had a baby. And sooo many of them are baby girls. I want a little girl so bad. I think it would be so much fun. :) And honestly, easier? I hear baby girls are easier, and then turn into lil drama queens later. I want an easy baby, lol. Mini Sarge was so, so difficult. And still is most days...
But I am in no way ready for a second baby yet. And I've put my foot down, that we won't start trying until our car is paid off. Because that will free up $450 a month (yeah, I know. Insane. But that's what happens when you trade in a car that you're upside down on. Live and learn!). So... another 2 or 3 years? That's about in the range I had originally decided on anyway. And it helps keep me in check. Otherwise, I'd have a case of the crazies and TTC #2 here shortly, ha.
And I pray that by the time that rolls around, Mini Sarge will be much easier to deal with. I really give props to the ladies that have their kids so close in age. I would go insane. Then again, maybe their babies are easy? Haha. I wonder if anyone with a high maintenance baby ever TTC their second super soon? That momma deserves some sort of reward.
Anyway. Just wanted to pop in and share my crazy thoughts. I hope everyone has a great 4th of July weekend! Stay safe, don't blow your fingers off, and please, please, please, no drinking and driving.
<3
Why is baby stuff so freaking cute?? I think it's designed to mess with my brain. I see it and go "aaaaaaaaaaaw! I WANT one!" XD
So many people are pregnant, or just had a baby. And sooo many of them are baby girls. I want a little girl so bad. I think it would be so much fun. :) And honestly, easier? I hear baby girls are easier, and then turn into lil drama queens later. I want an easy baby, lol. Mini Sarge was so, so difficult. And still is most days...
But I am in no way ready for a second baby yet. And I've put my foot down, that we won't start trying until our car is paid off. Because that will free up $450 a month (yeah, I know. Insane. But that's what happens when you trade in a car that you're upside down on. Live and learn!). So... another 2 or 3 years? That's about in the range I had originally decided on anyway. And it helps keep me in check. Otherwise, I'd have a case of the crazies and TTC #2 here shortly, ha.
And I pray that by the time that rolls around, Mini Sarge will be much easier to deal with. I really give props to the ladies that have their kids so close in age. I would go insane. Then again, maybe their babies are easy? Haha. I wonder if anyone with a high maintenance baby ever TTC their second super soon? That momma deserves some sort of reward.
Anyway. Just wanted to pop in and share my crazy thoughts. I hope everyone has a great 4th of July weekend! Stay safe, don't blow your fingers off, and please, please, please, no drinking and driving.
<3
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Goals
I've found myself often thinking lately about how boring I am. And while, for the most part, I don't care and am quite comfortable with the way things are, I also don't feel like I bring much to a conversation other than what my kid did this week. That part bothers me.
I mean really, who wants to talk to someone who talks about their kid all day? Granted, I'm not doing it because I think my kid is the best ever and everyone wants to hear about him (although I do think he's pretty awesome), it's because I just don't have anything else to talk about. And, it's not that I was some super well-read, opinionated, outspoken person before I had the baby and have "lost myself" as so many moms say. I was like this before, it just didn't matter as much. I had time to watch movies, hang out, and that worked.
I also have no problem being a stay-at-home mom and homemaker. There's nothing wrong with it. I enjoy it, for the most part. It's rewarding in a way that working isn't. Again, however, talking about the best way to remove x stain from y fabric, or what I'm making for dinner this week, is not very exciting or interesting.
So, I've been brainstorming about how to fix this, that don't necessarily involve me running all over town or going back to work. I'm not against working. I am against daycare raising my kid when it's not necessary. A job right now would only be to entertain me, not because we need the money.
The most I've come up with so far is to take up reading books, and to actually read the newspapers they drop off at my house that I didn't sign up for. A book club would be cool, but, I have a feeling I wouldn't be able to keep up with the rest of the group, and so it seems pretty pointless. However, if anyone wants to start a "we'll read it when we get to it" bookclub, lemme know. That could work! ;)
Part of my brain has seriously considered the working thing, even if it's a work from home thing. We're pretty fortunate that Sarge's job takes care of all our needs (wants, not so much, but all the needs, yes), so if I did this, I would love for it to be something that I LOVE to do. Figuring that part out... not so easy. I feel like I risk ruining something that I love to do because I have to do it. And it's also kind of hard to figure out what would be worth it as far as profit. Sure, I like to paint, but who knows if it would sell, ya know?
Blaaaah. So, new goal for myself: Be more interesting!
<3
I mean really, who wants to talk to someone who talks about their kid all day? Granted, I'm not doing it because I think my kid is the best ever and everyone wants to hear about him (although I do think he's pretty awesome), it's because I just don't have anything else to talk about. And, it's not that I was some super well-read, opinionated, outspoken person before I had the baby and have "lost myself" as so many moms say. I was like this before, it just didn't matter as much. I had time to watch movies, hang out, and that worked.
I also have no problem being a stay-at-home mom and homemaker. There's nothing wrong with it. I enjoy it, for the most part. It's rewarding in a way that working isn't. Again, however, talking about the best way to remove x stain from y fabric, or what I'm making for dinner this week, is not very exciting or interesting.
So, I've been brainstorming about how to fix this, that don't necessarily involve me running all over town or going back to work. I'm not against working. I am against daycare raising my kid when it's not necessary. A job right now would only be to entertain me, not because we need the money.
The most I've come up with so far is to take up reading books, and to actually read the newspapers they drop off at my house that I didn't sign up for. A book club would be cool, but, I have a feeling I wouldn't be able to keep up with the rest of the group, and so it seems pretty pointless. However, if anyone wants to start a "we'll read it when we get to it" bookclub, lemme know. That could work! ;)
Part of my brain has seriously considered the working thing, even if it's a work from home thing. We're pretty fortunate that Sarge's job takes care of all our needs (wants, not so much, but all the needs, yes), so if I did this, I would love for it to be something that I LOVE to do. Figuring that part out... not so easy. I feel like I risk ruining something that I love to do because I have to do it. And it's also kind of hard to figure out what would be worth it as far as profit. Sure, I like to paint, but who knows if it would sell, ya know?
Blaaaah. So, new goal for myself: Be more interesting!
<3
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Zzzz---beep
I need to bloooog. But, I really, don't have the energy to talk about anything semi-important--let alone anything that might actually be interesting. I'm so tired. Who knew a toddler was this exhausting, eh? Haha.
Life has gone back to the norm since Sarge left. Bedtime has been getting progressively later and later for Mini-Sarge. *twitch* I believe he is on the brink of going to a single nap during the day, and I really wish he'd hurry the heck up. I do not want to be dealing with him at 9pm for much longer. I am sooo ready for a 7-7:30 bedtime again. It seems by the time I get him to sleep, pick up the house, and get Sarge's email out, it's time for me to go to bed and start all over again. Where's the "me" time?
I guess the silver lining is that his naps are both at least an hour these days. So, I can manage -some- down time, so long as there isn't housework to be done. I did manage to watch a movie today. And almost the whole thing at once! Which, is quite the feat, if you were not aware. When you're a parent, the only time you're semi-assured to watch a movie in it's entirety is after the kids are in bed for the night. And even then, there is no real guarantee. I guess the only real way is if they're not home or you're out at the movies, ha.
We've been venturing out more now that Mini-Sarge can walk. He's a lot more fun when I don't have to carry him every where, haha. We went to the splash park the day before yesterday and he had a blast. Best part for me: it was free! And he wore himself out. Always a plus. :) I need to schedule more stuff like that in. I'm thinking once this weather clears, I'll set up my own little splash park in our backyard. It'll save me from having to move him from his carseat to his crib, too (a very delicate maneuver that fails 90% of the time XD).
Mommy brain is starting to sink in. I'm losing what little train of though I had. Time to go lay down and recharge. A better post soon... I hope. Shall see!
<3
Life has gone back to the norm since Sarge left. Bedtime has been getting progressively later and later for Mini-Sarge. *twitch* I believe he is on the brink of going to a single nap during the day, and I really wish he'd hurry the heck up. I do not want to be dealing with him at 9pm for much longer. I am sooo ready for a 7-7:30 bedtime again. It seems by the time I get him to sleep, pick up the house, and get Sarge's email out, it's time for me to go to bed and start all over again. Where's the "me" time?
I guess the silver lining is that his naps are both at least an hour these days. So, I can manage -some- down time, so long as there isn't housework to be done. I did manage to watch a movie today. And almost the whole thing at once! Which, is quite the feat, if you were not aware. When you're a parent, the only time you're semi-assured to watch a movie in it's entirety is after the kids are in bed for the night. And even then, there is no real guarantee. I guess the only real way is if they're not home or you're out at the movies, ha.
We've been venturing out more now that Mini-Sarge can walk. He's a lot more fun when I don't have to carry him every where, haha. We went to the splash park the day before yesterday and he had a blast. Best part for me: it was free! And he wore himself out. Always a plus. :) I need to schedule more stuff like that in. I'm thinking once this weather clears, I'll set up my own little splash park in our backyard. It'll save me from having to move him from his carseat to his crib, too (a very delicate maneuver that fails 90% of the time XD).
Mommy brain is starting to sink in. I'm losing what little train of though I had. Time to go lay down and recharge. A better post soon... I hope. Shall see!
<3
Saturday, June 11, 2011
I'm Leeeaving, on a Jet Plane
Don't know when I'll be back again...
Except, that I do know when. Ha.
Ah, le sigh. R&R is over and we are back to being a sporting two-some rather than our complete three-some. Only about 4.5-5 months left though, so it's not so bad.
This was probably the best of all the R&Rs we've shared together. It felt like it lasted a lot longer, which I attribute to not traveling. Everyone says that if you stay home, it flies by. But after doing both, I think it seems to last longer if you do not spend a week+ traveling around. And, it's a lot less stressful. Vacations, for me at least, always seem to be more stressful than they are fun.
We got a lot of things done while Sarge was here. His mother and grandmother were here for Mini Sarge's birthday, so we still got to see some family, even without the 8-9 hour drive, haha.Sarge managed to tackle everything on my "honey-do list" (that he asked me to make, btw!) First, included building me a bench for our back porch. Which, he had to do in two days, lol.
And here is a picture of the three of us together. One big happy family. Can't wait to be together again. :)
Except, that I do know when. Ha.
Ah, le sigh. R&R is over and we are back to being a sporting two-some rather than our complete three-some. Only about 4.5-5 months left though, so it's not so bad.
This was probably the best of all the R&Rs we've shared together. It felt like it lasted a lot longer, which I attribute to not traveling. Everyone says that if you stay home, it flies by. But after doing both, I think it seems to last longer if you do not spend a week+ traveling around. And, it's a lot less stressful. Vacations, for me at least, always seem to be more stressful than they are fun.
We got a lot of things done while Sarge was here. His mother and grandmother were here for Mini Sarge's birthday, so we still got to see some family, even without the 8-9 hour drive, haha.Sarge managed to tackle everything on my "honey-do list" (that he asked me to make, btw!) First, included building me a bench for our back porch. Which, he had to do in two days, lol.
We also bought a new grill, and he assembled the fire pit I bought him (seen above if you look hard enough). He got the trees out front pruned before the party, too--they desperately needed it. They are no longer attacking the siding and gutters of our house.
The big thing while he was here was Mini-Sarge's birthday party. I had a blast planning it, and I was glad that every one had fun. Here is a cake picture. Lil man didn't take very long to destroy that thing.
Here is our big gift! I was going to rent a bounce house for his party, but soon realized that I might as well buy him one instead. He can enjoy this for years to come!
Another thing I had Sarge do was build a splash table. All Mini Sarge wants to do in his pool anymore is splash, so why not give him something specifically for that, right? It's a lot safer, too. I was on panic mode for a while with the pool. He about fell in every time he leaned over to splash. And this cost us $10. They sell at the store for $40-70. He doesn't need all the toys on those, he just wants to splash, lol. This works great!
We did do a little traveling. One day, we decided to go to the zoo. It wasn't a long visit. I think we were only there for about an hour or so before we entered melt-down mode and had to leave. This is about the time where I think Sarge started to realize what I've been trying to tell him for months: Mini Sarge is not an easy going baby. Ha. In fact, after this visit, and the night before when we tried to go to dinner, and I ended up pacing the restaurant the whole hour (after a bowl of soup was poured in my lap, too!) while everyone else ate, Sarge threw out all the plans he had to do stuff and decided we'd just stay home and keep him happy.
The biggest news while daddy was home is that we started walking! Two days after his birthday, lil man finally let go of my hand and took off. It's only been about a week since then, and he is a pro!
And here is a picture of the three of us together. One big happy family. Can't wait to be together again. :)
XOXO
--Vchanny
Sunday, May 22, 2011
The Waiting Game
We're days away from making that most exciting trip down to the airport, and I am beyond excited. But the waiting is killing me. There's already been three cancelled flights, and we don't know what's going on or when he'll be able to get on a plane. Hurry up and wait!
I can see why last deployment he kept it a secret and just called me from ATL two hours before I needed to be at the airport, lol. Part of me wishes he could do that again, but it's just not possible with Mini Sarge. I can't get everything ready that fast and get out the door.
I scurried to get the house ready two days ago, thinking that maybe that first flight was going to happen, but I should have known better, ha. That's the super-planner in me. I will say, my disappointment wasn't too great. I know better, when dealing with the Army, not to get my hopes up.
So, please, dear Air Force, get your planes together and get my husband home soon. Because I'm going crazy waiting!
Kiss kiss,
Vchanny
I can see why last deployment he kept it a secret and just called me from ATL two hours before I needed to be at the airport, lol. Part of me wishes he could do that again, but it's just not possible with Mini Sarge. I can't get everything ready that fast and get out the door.
I scurried to get the house ready two days ago, thinking that maybe that first flight was going to happen, but I should have known better, ha. That's the super-planner in me. I will say, my disappointment wasn't too great. I know better, when dealing with the Army, not to get my hopes up.
So, please, dear Air Force, get your planes together and get my husband home soon. Because I'm going crazy waiting!
Kiss kiss,
Vchanny
Friday, May 13, 2011
Countdown!
Yay! I don't have a number of days yet, not that I could tell you anyway, but it's less than two weeks until I see Sarge! YAY!
I have that wedding this weekend, which, has become less and less appealing as the time approaches. I'm really looking forward to getting it over with. And so thankful my friend can come with me to help manage Mini-Sarge. She is such a life saver. It's going to be a long day on Saturday, though. Wedding is at 5pm, and it's 2 hours away. So, the earliest we'll be getting home is 8:30-9. :/ <-- my excited about the wedding face, lol. If I had known the time before I agreed to be a bridesmaid, I would have said no. After this, all I can say is, my friend better not complain to me that I never participate in any of her events/parties.
So close, yet so far. That's how I feel today. Lots of things that I want to do in preparation of him being here, still, but I don't want to do them yet. I know next week, I'll be going crazy trying to keep busy and not think about it, so perhaps I'll save it for then.
Ugh, and I guess with all my deep cleaning I've been doing, I've awoken all the house spiders. I've killed 7 or 8 in the last two or three days. I hate spiders. They give me the creeps. My cats are supposed to help kill them, but they must be on strike or something, because the most they've been doing is playing with them.
I want to eradicate those spiders. I can't really spray though, so that kind of makes it difficult.
Some bad news this past week from Sarge. It seems that the new job he took that test for isn't going to happen. We're hoping a new opportunity surfaces sometime in the near future. I wouldn't mind staying in the area (most of my excitement over the new job was moving, haha), but, I told him if we're going to be stuck here, I would like to buy a house. I don't see the point of handing over all our BAH for this dinky house that I'm not allowed to paint or make changes to.
We'll see what happens, though. Neither of us can really control it. Gotta roll with what we're given.
Anywho, I have a few moments left of Mini-Sarge's nap, so I'm going to go sit and relax.
<3
I have that wedding this weekend, which, has become less and less appealing as the time approaches. I'm really looking forward to getting it over with. And so thankful my friend can come with me to help manage Mini-Sarge. She is such a life saver. It's going to be a long day on Saturday, though. Wedding is at 5pm, and it's 2 hours away. So, the earliest we'll be getting home is 8:30-9. :/ <-- my excited about the wedding face, lol. If I had known the time before I agreed to be a bridesmaid, I would have said no. After this, all I can say is, my friend better not complain to me that I never participate in any of her events/parties.
So close, yet so far. That's how I feel today. Lots of things that I want to do in preparation of him being here, still, but I don't want to do them yet. I know next week, I'll be going crazy trying to keep busy and not think about it, so perhaps I'll save it for then.
Ugh, and I guess with all my deep cleaning I've been doing, I've awoken all the house spiders. I've killed 7 or 8 in the last two or three days. I hate spiders. They give me the creeps. My cats are supposed to help kill them, but they must be on strike or something, because the most they've been doing is playing with them.
I want to eradicate those spiders. I can't really spray though, so that kind of makes it difficult.
Some bad news this past week from Sarge. It seems that the new job he took that test for isn't going to happen. We're hoping a new opportunity surfaces sometime in the near future. I wouldn't mind staying in the area (most of my excitement over the new job was moving, haha), but, I told him if we're going to be stuck here, I would like to buy a house. I don't see the point of handing over all our BAH for this dinky house that I'm not allowed to paint or make changes to.
We'll see what happens, though. Neither of us can really control it. Gotta roll with what we're given.
Anywho, I have a few moments left of Mini-Sarge's nap, so I'm going to go sit and relax.
<3
Monday, May 2, 2011
Ding Dong!
Osama is dead.
That's good news. I would have taken captured alive and left in prison to rot, but this works.
I've seen a lot of people posting that they can't celebrate his death, because it feels wrong to them. I say, when you're mass murdering fsk head, it's deserved. He was not a good person, and the world is better with him gone.
I'm not sure what it'll mean for our troops. Things are either a) going to get easier, and the insurgents will be backing off a bit, or b) the insurgents will start retaliating. However, as I read earlier, if the retaliation isn't planned well, it's not really going to lead to much for them anyway. I guess my biggest concern is, who was number two? Who is going to take over his role in this terrorist organization? Some times that second-in-command is worse than the guy who was there before.
I guess we'll see what happens. I am glad that there is some justice being served to all those who have lost someone since September 11th. Maybe some peace can finally find it's way into their hearts. It sucks that it took so long to find him, but I hope now that we have, some healing can finally begin.
And as I posted on my Facebook page last night: High five, America!
<3
That's good news. I would have taken captured alive and left in prison to rot, but this works.
I've seen a lot of people posting that they can't celebrate his death, because it feels wrong to them. I say, when you're mass murdering fsk head, it's deserved. He was not a good person, and the world is better with him gone.
I'm not sure what it'll mean for our troops. Things are either a) going to get easier, and the insurgents will be backing off a bit, or b) the insurgents will start retaliating. However, as I read earlier, if the retaliation isn't planned well, it's not really going to lead to much for them anyway. I guess my biggest concern is, who was number two? Who is going to take over his role in this terrorist organization? Some times that second-in-command is worse than the guy who was there before.
I guess we'll see what happens. I am glad that there is some justice being served to all those who have lost someone since September 11th. Maybe some peace can finally find it's way into their hearts. It sucks that it took so long to find him, but I hope now that we have, some healing can finally begin.
And as I posted on my Facebook page last night: High five, America!
<3
Friday, April 29, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Since When Did I Stop Being Afraid...
Of tornadoes? Seriously. I never realized how carefree I am about them.
What's that? Tornado sirens? Eh. I'm just going to lay in bed, go back to sleep.
Wtf kind of attitude is that?? When we first moved here back in 97', I remember running to the hallway with mattresses and pillows every time there was a warning out. Which, living in this area, means most of April-June you're in the hallway with your head covered.
Maybe it's just the fact that I've never once been in a scary situation. No trees have ever fallen on my house. I've never seen a tornado. The worst that has ever happened is my grill or patio set got turned over.
Having a baby now, and realizing how indifferent I am to these warnings, kinda scares me a little. Am I being too careless? Should I get him out of bed at 1 am to huddle in the hallway for something that's probably not going to affect us? Am I being an irresponsible adult? I would feel absolutely terrible if something happened and I didn't bother to get up and get him. But I feel crazy jumping to conclusions and freaking out every time one of these warnings hits.
I do, most of the time, turn on the weather to see if there is an actual touchdown. I would hide for a touchdown.
Maybe it's normal to become desensitized to these things. Or maybe it's just my personality?
I hope everyone stays safe during this weather and impending flooding. Until next time!
<3
What's that? Tornado sirens? Eh. I'm just going to lay in bed, go back to sleep.
Wtf kind of attitude is that?? When we first moved here back in 97', I remember running to the hallway with mattresses and pillows every time there was a warning out. Which, living in this area, means most of April-June you're in the hallway with your head covered.
Maybe it's just the fact that I've never once been in a scary situation. No trees have ever fallen on my house. I've never seen a tornado. The worst that has ever happened is my grill or patio set got turned over.
Having a baby now, and realizing how indifferent I am to these warnings, kinda scares me a little. Am I being too careless? Should I get him out of bed at 1 am to huddle in the hallway for something that's probably not going to affect us? Am I being an irresponsible adult? I would feel absolutely terrible if something happened and I didn't bother to get up and get him. But I feel crazy jumping to conclusions and freaking out every time one of these warnings hits.
I do, most of the time, turn on the weather to see if there is an actual touchdown. I would hide for a touchdown.
Maybe it's normal to become desensitized to these things. Or maybe it's just my personality?
I hope everyone stays safe during this weather and impending flooding. Until next time!
<3
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Chocolate Bunny Time!
So, I'm not a believer. I'm just not, much to the woes of people around me. I love you guys, it's just not me. I choose to sit on the fence on this one and claim Agnosticism.
I grew up in a house where my parents didn't really want to force us to sit in church every Sunday, like their parents did. Partially I think, because you can't show up high. Ha, but, uh, they also never never mentioned anything at all about religion or Jesus or God. There was no dialog, no "here's a Bible. Read it." I mean, what were they thinking? We'll never talk about Christianity, but I'm sure our kids will turn out to be one anyway.
I'm actually kind of thankful they didn't though. It's allowed me to make my own opinions on the matter without being brainwashed at an early age--Call it what you want, young children are VERY impressionable, and will do whatever you want, and strive to be like their parents. What's actually kind of funny, is that Sarge grew up in a house where they were literally every religion you could think of. His dad was trying to find his place in the grand scheme of things, and dragged the family along. But, somehow, we both, although brought up very differently, have the same views today. I think it's interesting. And I know plenty of people who were brought up a certain way, and ended up questioning their beliefs later on. That makes me think that religion should be a personal choice, not something that is decided for you at an early age. (I will say, for every person I know who has struggled, there are plenty more who haven't and are strong in their faith. That's awesome!)
But, here's the thing: while I may not be into the religion thing, I am always respectful of other people's views. And I really can't stand it when I see people being rude or making stupid jokes about someone's faith--no matter what faith they are. Just because I can't wrap my head around it doesn't make me feel like I have the right to make these sort of jokes. And yeah, I laugh at the Family Guy jokes, and Sarge did this off a Chuck Norris joke I send him, and I thought it was funny.
I grew up in a house where my parents didn't really want to force us to sit in church every Sunday, like their parents did. Partially I think, because you can't show up high. Ha, but, uh, they also never never mentioned anything at all about religion or Jesus or God. There was no dialog, no "here's a Bible. Read it." I mean, what were they thinking? We'll never talk about Christianity, but I'm sure our kids will turn out to be one anyway.
I'm actually kind of thankful they didn't though. It's allowed me to make my own opinions on the matter without being brainwashed at an early age--Call it what you want, young children are VERY impressionable, and will do whatever you want, and strive to be like their parents. What's actually kind of funny, is that Sarge grew up in a house where they were literally every religion you could think of. His dad was trying to find his place in the grand scheme of things, and dragged the family along. But, somehow, we both, although brought up very differently, have the same views today. I think it's interesting. And I know plenty of people who were brought up a certain way, and ended up questioning their beliefs later on. That makes me think that religion should be a personal choice, not something that is decided for you at an early age. (I will say, for every person I know who has struggled, there are plenty more who haven't and are strong in their faith. That's awesome!)
But, here's the thing: while I may not be into the religion thing, I am always respectful of other people's views. And I really can't stand it when I see people being rude or making stupid jokes about someone's faith--no matter what faith they are. Just because I can't wrap my head around it doesn't make me feel like I have the right to make these sort of jokes. And yeah, I laugh at the Family Guy jokes, and Sarge did this off a Chuck Norris joke I send him, and I thought it was funny.
But, I'm not going around and being down right disrespectful. It doesn't make me feel better. I really just don't see the point.
Anyway, Happy Easter to everyone! I hope you get to spend some good quality time with family and loved ones. I think Mini-Sarge and I are going to my sister-in-law's house tonight, but we'll see. As of yesterday, she was not doing anything for a few days, ha, so I'll have to call and see. Until next time!
<3
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Ew, Jealousy
Do you remember the little graph I posted a post or two back? Remember, how at the top of the curve, was where I said the frustration/anger were at their peak? Yeah, that's where we are right now. Well, a few days shy, but, who the fsk is counting anymore?
AUGH!
What really makes is worse, and what actually ends up annoying me more because it makes it worse, is that everyone I know's husband is coming home this month. >.>
Now, the rational part of my brain realizes that their husbands left 6-7 months before mine did, so, uh yeah they're coming home now. However... the other part of my brain, the crazy part filled with those uncontrollable human emotions, says "WTF? When is it MY turn? Why isn't MY husband home?" Jealousy is so evil.
I hate, hate, HATE that I don't have any control over that feeling. It doesn't matter how rational I am, this is the point of deployment where crazy-brain takes over and I get pissy when I see homecoming banners, ha. It's awful, and it makes me feel like a jerk. And, I know, deep down, that I shouldn't be hating on people just because we were part of a different rotation. Hell, if he was coming home now, he would have missed our son being born, and that would have been really bad. I am so, so happy for all the families getting reunited. I just... am having a problem continuing to be patient.
I take pride in having a good deal of control over my emotions. I handle all of this relatively better than most people (not me bragging on myself, I hear it all the time.). So, when this, this crazy I-miss-him-boo-that-your-husband-is-home thing starts to go through my head, it really gets on my nerves. We all do our time. No separation is any worse than another. No one's longing for the simple touch, smell, sight or voice of their spouse is any worse than the next person. So why do these stupid feelings emerge?
Seriously, I saw earlier today, that a friend of mine's husband was about to land, and I got that anxious feeling, where like, your heart races a little, like, maybe you just ran into someone who you haven't seen in a while and didn't really want to run into and you get kinda panicy. It was like, wtf is this?
I contribute the lack of control to the anticipation of R&R, realizing he's already been gone six months--even though it feels like an eternity, and just human nature in general. I think we can only hold back our feelings for so long. Doesn't matter how much you ignore them. It's a beautiful coping mechanism, mind you, but it does have it's flaws. Eventually, you will break, and it probably won't be pretty.
<3
AUGH!
What really makes is worse, and what actually ends up annoying me more because it makes it worse, is that everyone I know's husband is coming home this month. >.>
Now, the rational part of my brain realizes that their husbands left 6-7 months before mine did, so, uh yeah they're coming home now. However... the other part of my brain, the crazy part filled with those uncontrollable human emotions, says "WTF? When is it MY turn? Why isn't MY husband home?" Jealousy is so evil.
I hate, hate, HATE that I don't have any control over that feeling. It doesn't matter how rational I am, this is the point of deployment where crazy-brain takes over and I get pissy when I see homecoming banners, ha. It's awful, and it makes me feel like a jerk. And, I know, deep down, that I shouldn't be hating on people just because we were part of a different rotation. Hell, if he was coming home now, he would have missed our son being born, and that would have been really bad. I am so, so happy for all the families getting reunited. I just... am having a problem continuing to be patient.
I take pride in having a good deal of control over my emotions. I handle all of this relatively better than most people (not me bragging on myself, I hear it all the time.). So, when this, this crazy I-miss-him-boo-that-your-husband-is-home thing starts to go through my head, it really gets on my nerves. We all do our time. No separation is any worse than another. No one's longing for the simple touch, smell, sight or voice of their spouse is any worse than the next person. So why do these stupid feelings emerge?
Seriously, I saw earlier today, that a friend of mine's husband was about to land, and I got that anxious feeling, where like, your heart races a little, like, maybe you just ran into someone who you haven't seen in a while and didn't really want to run into and you get kinda panicy. It was like, wtf is this?
I contribute the lack of control to the anticipation of R&R, realizing he's already been gone six months--even though it feels like an eternity, and just human nature in general. I think we can only hold back our feelings for so long. Doesn't matter how much you ignore them. It's a beautiful coping mechanism, mind you, but it does have it's flaws. Eventually, you will break, and it probably won't be pretty.
<3
Saturday, April 16, 2011
The Spoiled Wife
Yup, I'm spoiled.
Now, I've been doing this Army wife thing for a while now, and Army girlfriend a while before that. And I've suffered through my fair share of deployments (in fact, too many if you ask me. This is my third, and his fourth). But we have been very fortunate: Sarge has always had internet in his room, and never, ever, leaves the wire, unless it is for a short trip and is usually by air. I remember last deployment, his words to calm me down when they were getting ready to take a trip, "When's the last time you heard of a Colonel's helo getting shot down?" He was right, and it silenced my fears and I went about my day, waiting to hear from him again--which wasn't long, because he had access to phones because of who he was with. Spoiled much?
However, he is not working with the same group. And this whole traveling by convoy thing freaks me out. I know people do it every day. But I don't care, because he doesn't do it every day.
Today, I imagine, I have the same fears most other wives deal with on a daily basis. I almost feel put in my place. While I always worry, I have never had to seriously worry. You always have this unsquashable fear in the back of your head when you husband, no matter what his job is, boards a plane to leave off for war. But being that Sarge does not have a combat related job, I've never really had to worry. The longest we've gone without contact is a day or two. (Again, spoiled much? I know women who go a week or so at a time without so much as an email or 5 minute phone call, and I get irritated when he doesn't write me back. I'm such a princess.)
I don't like that he isn't in the safety of the base. I hate that for some reason they could fly out, but couldn't obtain a flight back. I hate that I can't talk to him. I've live, yes, but my thoughts keep wandering to what they're doing, where they're at, what the road is like, are there a lot of people and villages, or are they just driving along a dark road through the mountains? Did they get a chance to stop and eat? Is there a FOB that they get to stop at, or are they camping out in the middle of no where?
I know he's fine. I trust that the people he is with know what they're doing, and they would all have each other's backs. I just, don't like it. I don't like the uncertainty of it all.
Iraq was a different thing from the 'Stan. He was stationed at a tiny little FOB, and never left the wire, but it was more dangerous. He would stop in the middle of our messenger conversation, tell me he'd be right back with no explanation, and come back some 10-20 minutes later. When I asked what had happened, he would say "oh, we just took some mortars," and would continue on like nothing at all had happened. Whuck? I guess that's what happens when you're on your second tour, and that kind of thing happens almost daily. At the time, it scared me to death. I couldn't fathom just brushing off something like that, but he did.
I guess what it all boils down to is, that my hat is off to all the ladies who deal with this on a daily basis--I do not think that I could deal with it. I deal with deployments well, but it is solely because I do not have to worry, and I do hear from my husband often. I would never say that I have it as hard as someone whose significant other was in harm's way on a daily basis. I openly admit that Sarge and I have it pretty easy as far as that goes.
The women who truely hang onto their phones for dear life, waiting for a phone call. And keep their computer nearby at all times just in case. This spoiled little wife is amazed at your courage and strength. Hooah!
Now, I've been doing this Army wife thing for a while now, and Army girlfriend a while before that. And I've suffered through my fair share of deployments (in fact, too many if you ask me. This is my third, and his fourth). But we have been very fortunate: Sarge has always had internet in his room, and never, ever, leaves the wire, unless it is for a short trip and is usually by air. I remember last deployment, his words to calm me down when they were getting ready to take a trip, "When's the last time you heard of a Colonel's helo getting shot down?" He was right, and it silenced my fears and I went about my day, waiting to hear from him again--which wasn't long, because he had access to phones because of who he was with. Spoiled much?
However, he is not working with the same group. And this whole traveling by convoy thing freaks me out. I know people do it every day. But I don't care, because he doesn't do it every day.
Today, I imagine, I have the same fears most other wives deal with on a daily basis. I almost feel put in my place. While I always worry, I have never had to seriously worry. You always have this unsquashable fear in the back of your head when you husband, no matter what his job is, boards a plane to leave off for war. But being that Sarge does not have a combat related job, I've never really had to worry. The longest we've gone without contact is a day or two. (Again, spoiled much? I know women who go a week or so at a time without so much as an email or 5 minute phone call, and I get irritated when he doesn't write me back. I'm such a princess.)
I don't like that he isn't in the safety of the base. I hate that for some reason they could fly out, but couldn't obtain a flight back. I hate that I can't talk to him. I've live, yes, but my thoughts keep wandering to what they're doing, where they're at, what the road is like, are there a lot of people and villages, or are they just driving along a dark road through the mountains? Did they get a chance to stop and eat? Is there a FOB that they get to stop at, or are they camping out in the middle of no where?
I know he's fine. I trust that the people he is with know what they're doing, and they would all have each other's backs. I just, don't like it. I don't like the uncertainty of it all.
Iraq was a different thing from the 'Stan. He was stationed at a tiny little FOB, and never left the wire, but it was more dangerous. He would stop in the middle of our messenger conversation, tell me he'd be right back with no explanation, and come back some 10-20 minutes later. When I asked what had happened, he would say "oh, we just took some mortars," and would continue on like nothing at all had happened. Whuck? I guess that's what happens when you're on your second tour, and that kind of thing happens almost daily. At the time, it scared me to death. I couldn't fathom just brushing off something like that, but he did.
I guess what it all boils down to is, that my hat is off to all the ladies who deal with this on a daily basis--I do not think that I could deal with it. I deal with deployments well, but it is solely because I do not have to worry, and I do hear from my husband often. I would never say that I have it as hard as someone whose significant other was in harm's way on a daily basis. I openly admit that Sarge and I have it pretty easy as far as that goes.
The women who truely hang onto their phones for dear life, waiting for a phone call. And keep their computer nearby at all times just in case. This spoiled little wife is amazed at your courage and strength. Hooah!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Hello, April!
Bring on them showers!
Because I'm lazy and can't remember to water the plants I just spent $100 on. XD Ah, and it is also helpful in keeping the grass hydrated, so that I don't need to bother with it, either.
Cars are still on the waiting list. Waaaay too much pollen right now to even bother washing them, and it's way too windy/rainy to try to vacuum out the interior. I've got time, though. And possibly a neighborhood child to pay to do so, haha.
May the next few weeks pass quickly!
<3
Because I'm lazy and can't remember to water the plants I just spent $100 on. XD Ah, and it is also helpful in keeping the grass hydrated, so that I don't need to bother with it, either.
I don't have any pictures of the back just yet. It wasn't complete when I took these (Mini Sarge decided that mommy couldn't finish while he was awake, so I finished the backyard in the dark, ha), and yesterday it was raining when I was in the picture snapping mood.
I did manage to salvage the hastas that our dog and the dog I watched for two weeks in December managed to dig up/trample. I hope they make it. :) Because, I'm not doing anymore gardening beyond the occasional weed pulling, haha.
We are about 2 weeks from the official mid-deployment mark. I can't wait to be on the other side of that curve. I imagine, if I had to illustrate, it might look something like this (hopefully you can click and see. If not, I will work on something!):
The good news, we are less than 8 weeks out from R&R. Which, unfortunately, is about a month sooner than we normally do it, which has it's purpose believe it or not, but oh well. I'd rather him be home for his son's birthday. And July is just too damn hot to be traveling around in.
Anyway, I've been keeping busy. I tackled gardening a week or two before I had planned, but it was eating at me. ^^ And, I want my yard to look nice, specifically nicer than my neighbors'. Haha. Soon, I will be getting that damn dress altered. Rant about how much harder it is to be doing this crap alone with a kid and how people really just don't understand for another time, but I promise it's coming. ;) I hope it's a doosey.
I've been working on birthday crafts. When I finish the next set, I'll post pictures of the completed collection. I've about finished gathering supplies, too, so that's nice.
Um, still waiting to deep clean the house. But I have been Googling ways to make certain tasks easier, such as dusting these stupid blinds! When I have my own home, that I'm not renting, I am going to spend the extra money to install the ones that are -in- the glass. I shall never have to dust another set again. Nor worry about the cats or dog destroying them (they have formed a little peep hole in the set in my front bedroom. I will post photographic evidence at a later date), or children choking themselves with them...
May the next few weeks pass quickly!
<3
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
The Impatience Begins
So, I have all this stuff to do before the end of May. But it's only the end of March. And it's too soon to start.
:/ Laaaaame.
I hate waiting. It drives me crazy, which is why I break the deployment up. It makes things manageable. But I always seem to mess up and have a period or two like this where it's too soon to do something, but right around the corner all at the same time. Here's my list of things that I need to get done over the next two months:
:/ Laaaaame.
I hate waiting. It drives me crazy, which is why I break the deployment up. It makes things manageable. But I always seem to mess up and have a period or two like this where it's too soon to do something, but right around the corner all at the same time. Here's my list of things that I need to get done over the next two months:
- Fix up the flower beds. Why is it too soon? The weather here is wacky. There is a chance that we might still get snow some time during this month, and if not, at least a freeze. I'm not wasting money on stuff that's going to die. So, I need to wait until at least the middle of April to tackle this.
- Deep clean the house. I'm talking getting into all the little corners I don't get into very often, wash curtains, get the blinds dust-free, clean windows, clean behind the appliances, clean light fixtures, clean out closets. I have already started closets, but, I can't really jump into this just yet. Maybe the first or second week of May. And I know Sarge isn't going to care if the house is super clean or not when he gets here--but I care.
- Get my bridesmaid dress altered. The wedding is in about a month, but I'm still losing weight. I'd like to wait another two or three weeks before I pay for this.
- Birthday stuff! I need to make grab bags for the kids and finish whatever other decorations I need to make. I can start on some of this soon, but I still a) don't know how many kids are showing up (invites just went out), and b) can't make the one party favor, because I don't want the treats to go stale.
- Get my tan on! This one, I'm mostly not starting yet because I feel like it's a waste of money, haha. I've got some self tanner here at the house that takes about a week to get the full effect from. So, beginning of May, I'll start that. I don't need to glow for the next month, ha.
I think that's it. I know it doesn't sound like much, and really, looking at it written down, it's not. But I want to get started, demmit! I guess the good news is, that I have purchased almost everything for the party (minus food), I only have to find a shirt for Mini-Sarge for the wedding, and I'm still managing to lose weight without a whole lot of effort on my part! Haha.
I did go and buy some stuff for that Etsy shop I was thinking about making (heh, now that I've spent more money, I sorta have to open it now, lol). But, I'm not in a hurry to design a bunch of stuff just yet. I need to do some more research online before I dive into it all.
Anyway, I'm sure the munchkin will be awake shortly. It seems as if Sarge's internet is out still, so I'm going to go find something productive to do. Until next time!
<3
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Oh, What Have I Started...?
I'm going to blame this solely on my best friend. She started it with her cute little homemade Christmas card she sent me this past year. Followed by a "just because" card. And now... here I am, making birthday invitations and birthday banners for Mini-Sarge's birthday in two months.
Yes, two months away, and I've already started. :P Shoot me. If you've been following, you know I'm a planner.
Honestly, though, what really started it was the vendor I tried to contact about some awesome bug-themed birthday invitations that couldn't respond to a simple email about whether or not she could also make a banner for me. I waited three weeks, and didn't get a single reply back. So, I decided that she wasn't getting any of my money, and that I was perfectly capable of doing it myself.
What's crazier about my crafting, is that I'm thinking about opening a shop over on Etsy. I don't think it's going to be a bustling business, but, couldn't hurt. And, if nothing else, I suppose it could fund my new addiction. I've already spent close to $300 on stuff. >.> Surprisingly, Sarge did not threaten harm to me, haha. Perhaps, because I'm letting him trade in my Accord for a Jeep when he gets back, and am currently saving the cash to supplement the sale of said Honda so that we don't have a second car payment. A little quid pro quo I suppose, haha.
Anywho, here are said craft projects:
Yes, two months away, and I've already started. :P Shoot me. If you've been following, you know I'm a planner.
Honestly, though, what really started it was the vendor I tried to contact about some awesome bug-themed birthday invitations that couldn't respond to a simple email about whether or not she could also make a banner for me. I waited three weeks, and didn't get a single reply back. So, I decided that she wasn't getting any of my money, and that I was perfectly capable of doing it myself.
What's crazier about my crafting, is that I'm thinking about opening a shop over on Etsy. I don't think it's going to be a bustling business, but, couldn't hurt. And, if nothing else, I suppose it could fund my new addiction. I've already spent close to $300 on stuff. >.> Surprisingly, Sarge did not threaten harm to me, haha. Perhaps, because I'm letting him trade in my Accord for a Jeep when he gets back, and am currently saving the cash to supplement the sale of said Honda so that we don't have a second car payment. A little quid pro quo I suppose, haha.
Anywho, here are said craft projects:
23 separate pieces to this thing, ha. I made 16. x.x
This was the first attempt with this design. The caterpillar makes a "C" on all the others, and is much more centered.
W/o his finishing touches. Now has antennae and a smile.
I'm nervous to open a shop. I'm always afraid someone will be critical and find faults in stuff I make. It's like, when it's just for me, it doesn't matter if it's not 100% perfect. But if someone is going to be paying me, it really needs to be as close to perfect as it can get. I wouldn't feel right selling something that I didn't think was absolutely right, and I am far too critical of myself--so I'm going to end up driving myself loony.
Ugh, and there's like, a thousand other people doing the same thing. So, I worry that my stuff won't stand out among the crowd. I guess the only way to know is to try, right? I guess I'll be making some mock up products here over the next few months. I'd like to have things ready in the next 2-3 months, but with R&R and his birthday coming up, I have a feeling I'm going to be a bit distracted with other things. It'll be nice to have my creative juices flowing again. And poor Fae, she's going to see lots of horrible design ideas in the coming months, haha. I promise no unicorn barf. :D
Until next time!
<3
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