From The Top!

Where to start? A little background on me, I guess. I come from a military family. My dad served 20 years in the Air Force. He retired when I was 10, and we moved from CA out to TN. Saying it was a big change only really scrapes the surface. Through it all, though, I can say that the move here, followed by the events afterward, lead me to who I am today and where I am today. And because of that, I can look back and say "it's okay." It's taken a while to get there, but I no longer get angry or sad thinking about my pre-teen and teenage years. There are what they were, and there is no changing that. All I can do, is make sure that the same events don't happen in my marriage and in my family.


I didn't date until college. And after breaking up with my first real boyfriend, or rather him breaking up with me for reasons I thought were stupid and dumb, I decided I was going to make an account on Yahoo Personals. Lethia and I also made some silly dating application for me among other things. I never, ever thought that anything would come of it, rather than a few laughs. Well, August 23rd, 2005, I got my first note from my now husband. How do I remember the date? The reply I sent to his email (I didn't pay for the service, but he did, so I got his email), is still sitting in my sent folder. Yeah, I save that stuff. To be honest, at first, I had no intention of every meeting him, and I thought he was being kinda creepy (he wanted my phone number and wanted to hang out while he was home for two weeks from Iraq, and we'd just met). All my friends kept saying "stalker!" Well, it was a Monday, September 12th actually, and I was pulling a double at my then job at a restuarant here in town (no, not a waitress--I don't have that kind of patience), and I had left a status message on my Yahoo that I was there and someone needed to come save me. It was probably around 5 or 6, I was in the back making some cheddar biscuits (flour, every where), when my shift leader came back to tell me someone, a cute guy, was there to see me. I really thought it was one of my school friends, but there he was, standing at the front counter.


We exchanged numbers (I guess since he was there, I felt it was okay to do so then but not before? lol), both shaking the whole time. I was nervous, but I think he was even more nervous! Years later, he admitted that he almost didn't call me. I was a mess, and didn't look anything like any of the pictures he'd seen. Glad he did though. :) We went out to dinner that night after I got off work, where he ended up telling me it was his birthday. We sat at Chilis until they started to close, and then went to go hang out at his room and keep talking. We spent the next day together, and he went home for a little over a week to MI. He called me every night. Even when he didn't have service (and believe me, LOTS of deadzones in the little town he's from), he'd drive down the road until he did, or would call me from a pay phone. :) We spent the last two days of his R&R together, and then I had to take him to the airport. 


Little did I know at the time, that this wouldn't be the last time I would have to do this. 


We kept in touch pretty regularly over the last four months of that deployment, and I picked him up when his plane landed on the airfield. There was a snag in our happiness, though--my mother. My family was getting ready to move to AZ, and she was bound and determined to get me to go. She started some drama, which luckily got sorted out after a week (thanks to Lethia, smacking some sense into him!), and he came an apologized to me on Valentine's Day (I had a second job at this point at the local arcade). Since that day, we've only gone twice without talking to each other, and have been like glue. 


I was living next to my parents at the time, and after they left, David started coming around more often. That summer, he moved in. He was getting ready to get out of the Army after being stop-lossed for a few months, and we were getting ready to move back to where he called home. I was excited, and nervous. But, I couldn't imagine not being with him, so I went. We were only up there eight months before he decided that the civilian life in Michigan was not what he thought it would be, and he re-enlisted. 


I remember the night we were talking about it (we were staying at his mom's house at this point, sleeping in the room he grew up in). He said he was going to go down to the recruiter. And I said, after we looked at each other for a few minutes, that I guess I needed to call the court house. That, was my marriage propsal. Ha. You see, the Army won't move a girlfriend, so we both knew what had to happen before everything was finalized with his paperwork. May 21st, we made it official down at the courthouse, with a co-worker of mine and a clerk at the office as our witnesses. Was it the wedding girls dream of? No. Did I have a beautiful gown? No. Do I care? No. All I cared about, was that I was now Mrs. David Eldridge.


We came right back to where he was stationed before, and within a week, I had my old job back (they missed my l33tness). We were fortunate to not have to wait on the on-post housing list for more than a week or so. We've been in this house since June 2007, which is more than I can say for most military families. We've been fortunate to be in the same place for so long. We weren't here long, however, before that ugly word was spoken: deployment. He left the first week of January 2008 for 15 months. I was depressed about it starting in October. I had a really hard time processing what was going on and what was going to happen that whole time. I'd dealt with part of deployment before, but not a whole one, and definitely not an extended one (12 months is standard for the Army). We had talked about it, and I knew it was going to happen, but I felt like it all came too soon.


It's a good thing we ended up back where we were. My best friend, Lethia lived literally, five minutes away, and I had other friends in town that were like family to keep me busy. I also became really good friends with my neighbor--whose husband left a week after mine. Even thought I thought it'd never end, the year passed, and in Feburary he was home. His tour was shortened to 14 months (big whoop, I thought), and when he got here, we started trying to get pregnant. 


Ah, planning to get pregnant. It actually began a month or two after he left. I don't know what came over me--I never wanted kids, but I wanted a baby. It started with an innocent comment about getting another cat since he wouldn't let me have a baby, and next thing I knew, we were planning on starting a family. I had a miscarriage in April, but in September, we sealed the deal. I found out the first Friday in October that we were expecting. I took the test before I went to work, and woke David up at 4:15 to tell him the news. He was so out of it that I had to tell him a few times before he understood what I said. I never wanted to stay home from work so bad in my life! I had a very hard time keeping my mouth shut--we planned on keeping it a secret until after we'd been to the doctor to confirm and wanted to wait to tell anyone until after we'd told his parents, who were coming down for Halloween.


We found out in January that we would be having a little boy. And, 9 days early, May 31st, I delivered our son. My pregnancy was easy as cake. And delievery was just as easy. I was only in labor a total of two hours. I had him within an hour of arriving at the hospital. Needless-to-say, I didn't have time for the coveted epidural that I had been wanting to get, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. He arrived at 23:19, weighing 6 pounds 14 ounces, measuring 19 1/2 inches long. I was supposed to call Lethia when we got into a room and she was going to be in the room when I had him... but, things went too quick, and around 1 or 2 I called her and she came up to the hospital (her husband was away at AIT at the time, otherwise, I'm sure she'd stayed home until morning, haha).


I still can't believe that was 6 months ago today. He's grown so much. And as parents, David and I have learned quite a bit. I still fumble along day to day, but it gets easier.


David and I knew the d-word would be happening shortly after our son was born, and I'd done all I could to prepare for it. He left the first week of November for another 12 month tour overseas. His fourth. By the time he gets home, he'll have 50 months overseas. (I counted. It's something I do. I'm just a number person. You'll learn this.)


I must say, that so far, this deployment has been very different than the last. Not only because I have a baby to take care of, but it just seems easier overall. I joke that I've just got tough skin, but I think it's mostly changes in my coping methods and my acceptance of things. I didn't cry much last deployment, but I did cry. And I did drink a lot. I don't really have the option of spending most of my days in a drunken fog anymore--which is probably for the best. I only have this one liver. And honestly, I haven't cried since we were saying goodbye. I don't have the same support system--Lethia is in NY now (sad face!) and my old neighbor moved before I even got pregnant--but I almost feel like it's not as necessary for me to have them this time around, if that makes much sense. Maybe I've just gotten better at being alone? I will say that deployments are time for the big girl panties to be put on. When he's home, I have a bad habit of playing the "I can't do this... will you help me?" card. As soon as he leaves though, independent Heather comes charging in! It's like this awesome transformation within myself, as cheesy as that sounds. ;)


Augh. Speaking of the night he left. That is only the second time I've ever seen that man cry--the first being when our son was born. Leaving his boy was the hardest thing he's ever had to do. And it was hard for me to watch. I really admire his strength. As hard as it is to stay here and raise our child by myself, I don't think I'd have what it takes to pick up and leave for a year.


So, that's the catch up. We are officially one month into this deployment. Eleven to go! I can promise I'll be around until then. Who knows after that. :)

And thus it begins!

Hello! It's far past my bed time (yes, as a mommy of a 6 month old, I have a set bed time.), but I wanted to at least get something published on here before I lay my head down. How much I type out will probably be determined by these factors: 1) how long the caffeine I've consumed today will hold up, and 2) whether or not mommy-brain strikes.


What the hell is "mommy brain?"


I know what it is, but I think it has struck, so here's a definition from UrbanDictionary.com:


Mommy Brain - The phenomenon known to mothers where their brains become useless piles of goo after being around their children for too long.


I love the internet. I swear since I gave birth I haven't had a complete thought. At least not one that didn't involve poop or feeding schedules... or sleep schedules... or whether or not I should vaccinate my child... augh! LA LA LA! I'm not listening! This is not Babycenter! (aka Sanctimommy central)


Anywho! So, as most of the population, I suppose, every few years I get the strong urge to start a blog. And I hit it head on for like... a week or two. And then it kinda just fades into the dark reaches of the interwebs, never to be seen again until someone (admittedly, me!) randomly Googles me or my internet handle to see what pops up. Do I think this will be another one of those blogs? Probably. Or hey, who knows, maybe I'll actually keep up with it for reals this time and end up with a few followers other than my BFF (shout out to Fae! <3 Who I am blaming this on, btw. She started to blog again. And somehow that made ME want to do it.) or other high school friends? Eh. Who knows? :) I have no plans to become attached to this thing. Maybe that's the key though? Setting high expectations often leads to pressure and the inevitable let-down that follows. We'll just keep this blogger-to-blog relationship relaxed and see how it goes this time around.


By the way, I'm going to go ahead and apologize now for any future typos/run-on sentences/incoherent thoughts. Spell-check can only do so much when fighting Mommy Brain. ;)


And I think, with that, we'll call it a night. Tomorrow (or whenever, ya know, keeping this chill) I'll get to the introduction of myself and why I feel the need to share my life with random strangers on the internet. We'll talk about how I got here and all that jazz. Until then, toodles!