I'm going to rant today. I'm feeling VERY ranty.
Why can't people be civil during the end of a relationship? Why must it always turn to games, and being the victor? Why can't they just split peacefully and move on with their lives?
I've seen several of my very good friends in recent years end their marriages, or just long-term relationships. Almost all of them were due to their spouses cheating. What really gets me is, spouse cheats, then tries to do everything in their power to make the situation hard on the one they cheated on. Seriously? This can't be how this always plays out. I just don't get it. You (general) obviously, at one point in time, really loved this person. Now, you're just tossing them to the curb with nothing, and you don't care?
I have a plea to anyone who is about to end their marriage: be nice about it. Our feelings change, and some times, people just don't want to be married anymore. That's absolutely valid. Your feelings are valid. But that doesn't mean you should start looking for someone else so that you don't have to be alone, or to "try it out" before you make the final decision. It's dishonest. Your spouse doesn't suspect a thing, but you're chatting up other women and making plans to meet them? That's horrible. And it does make you a cheater. And you are wrong for it. It makes you look like a terrible human being with no regard for anyone but yourself and your own desires. How hard is it to say, "I don't think I want to be married anymore." Your spouse will be hurt, but it will sting less if you tell them before you've moved on. Their feelings count for something, too. Or did you forget that?
And if your spouse has relied on you to pay the bills, and has moved away from their support net to be with you and support your career, and has no where to go, and no way to get where they need to go--don't be an asshole. Help them. YOU decided to end this relationship. The least you can do, is be civil, and help them go back home.
Women are just as bad as some of these men, I have seen it first hand with my own parent's marriage, but fsking-a. It frustrates me so much to see people I love getting their world ripped apart because someone they trusted and loved is a liar.
Be kind to each other. Just because a relationship has ended, doesn't mean WWIII needs to erupt. Divorces would be less messy if people were honest with their spouses about how they were feeling, and ended the relationship before they met someone else--because that betrayal, is what generally sends people over the edge and then they're out to hurt the offender in any way possible. People always say it just happens, but I think if they were honest with themselves, they'd see that they'd been unhappy for a while, and it "happening" was a result of that.
I really wish that people acted with more kindness and compassion, and thought about things before they acted on impulse. I think there would be less broken hearts that way.
<3
Monday, December 19, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
Updateness!
So, I realized yesterday, that I hadn't blogged in approximately two months. Lots of stuff has been going on. Apologies.
Mini Sarge has warmed up considerably faster to Sarge than I expected, but it is wonderful. I get the warm fuzzies inside when I seem then interact. I really missed that while he was gone.
Mini Sarge was also evaluated by Early Intervention back in the beginning of November. She wanted to move forward, but I wanted to give him more time to catch up before we did anything. He has caught up a significant amount just since Sarge has gotten back. So, that makes me hopeful that we won't need any professional intervention on getting him back on track. Back when she came, I could have written pages on how the visit went and how it made me feel and the guilt I was carrying about his development... but those feelings are gone now. They have been dealt with. If any of it was my fault, due to lack of trying, or laziness, or what not, then so be it. We are a family again. Things are normal, he is catching up. That, is what matters. I can't blame myself for doing the best I could alone. It's a hard thing to come to terms with, but it's important for people in situations similar to mine to do. There is enough guilt to carry as parents, this doesn't need to be added to it all.
Sarge's parents and brother visited us for Thanksgiving. That was lovely. I adore my MIL. We'll see them again next week, which should be fun. :)
I turned 25 on Thanksgiving. Whoo-hoo. I think? Ha. Some days, I feel much older than 25.
I had surgery on the 6th, to diagnose some pain I'd been dealing with for the past 6 years off and on. I had a diagnostic laproscopy. It's a same day surgery, so I came home that afternoon. Turns out, suspicions were correct, and I have endometriosis. The good news is that it was a mild case, and so long as we keep an eye out for it coming back, we shouldn't have any fertility problems in the future. I was really nervous about the severity of it, but luck was definitely on our side. Now I can move forward, with answers, and take things as they come, and not worry about whether or not we're going to have a hard time getting pregnant again when the time comes.
Future babies are still on hold. ;)
So yeah. Busy last two months. They have been wonderful, though. I'm looking forward to things settling down a bit for a while, and then PCSing out of here next Spring. It's going to be an adventure!
<3
Mini Sarge has warmed up considerably faster to Sarge than I expected, but it is wonderful. I get the warm fuzzies inside when I seem then interact. I really missed that while he was gone.
Mini Sarge was also evaluated by Early Intervention back in the beginning of November. She wanted to move forward, but I wanted to give him more time to catch up before we did anything. He has caught up a significant amount just since Sarge has gotten back. So, that makes me hopeful that we won't need any professional intervention on getting him back on track. Back when she came, I could have written pages on how the visit went and how it made me feel and the guilt I was carrying about his development... but those feelings are gone now. They have been dealt with. If any of it was my fault, due to lack of trying, or laziness, or what not, then so be it. We are a family again. Things are normal, he is catching up. That, is what matters. I can't blame myself for doing the best I could alone. It's a hard thing to come to terms with, but it's important for people in situations similar to mine to do. There is enough guilt to carry as parents, this doesn't need to be added to it all.
Sarge's parents and brother visited us for Thanksgiving. That was lovely. I adore my MIL. We'll see them again next week, which should be fun. :)
I turned 25 on Thanksgiving. Whoo-hoo. I think? Ha. Some days, I feel much older than 25.
I had surgery on the 6th, to diagnose some pain I'd been dealing with for the past 6 years off and on. I had a diagnostic laproscopy. It's a same day surgery, so I came home that afternoon. Turns out, suspicions were correct, and I have endometriosis. The good news is that it was a mild case, and so long as we keep an eye out for it coming back, we shouldn't have any fertility problems in the future. I was really nervous about the severity of it, but luck was definitely on our side. Now I can move forward, with answers, and take things as they come, and not worry about whether or not we're going to have a hard time getting pregnant again when the time comes.
Future babies are still on hold. ;)
So yeah. Busy last two months. They have been wonderful, though. I'm looking forward to things settling down a bit for a while, and then PCSing out of here next Spring. It's going to be an adventure!
<3
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