Memory Lane Nightmare

Hello! I don't remember how the topic started, but some online mommy friends and I got to talking about blogs and I mentioned that I'd blogged over the years, and how it was never anything as interesting as they were talking about. And I knew that my old Xanga and LiveJournal accounts were still open, so I went to Google to find them and decide whether or not they were in need of deletion. Which, is something I never thought of doing before, but for some reason, yesterday, decided I needed to.
The great thing about using the same username every where, is that it's not hard to find lost accounts and passwords. Being dumb and using the same password or two, also makes this feat easy to accomplish. First was the LiveJournal. The last time I'd updated that one, was in '07 when we were in MI. I didn't take the time to look through old posts. I deleted it on the spot.
Xanga was next. That one ran from fall of '04 up until right before I left with Sarge to MI in '06. So, about a two year time span. However, it featured probably the worst year of my life, in great detail. Because, let's face it, 17/18 year olds don't really think in the long-term. There was a lot of embarrassing, regrettable, personal information on there. Stuff, I realized I did not want someone to randomly find. Stuff I shouldn't have posted to begin with (emails and chat conversations that were private in nature). Stuff, that reading through (and I did. Took me several hours to read through all the posts), made me want to smack myself. I had gotten involved with several people in a rather short time period, and each was more dramatic than the one before it. Then, there was the chronicle that was my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, who was my first boyfriend and not just someone I was seeing. And reading through all those posts... I don't know why I was so enamored (well, I do, but it was an unhealthy attachment). And I don't know why I was so angry at him for so long, and so hung up. We broke up for a valid, selfless reason--but I couldn't let go, because of how important I had made him out to be, and made a fool out of myself chasing after him. It's sad seeing how much self-esteem I lacked back then. And, it's gone now, but a conversation we had really opened my eyes to it and changed me for the better. I was such a pain in the ass then, makes me want to apologize and say thank you, but I think that might be awkward after six years have passed, don't you think? Ha.
Reading through it all, I am so lucky to have made it through without any permanent damage to myself. I put myself in so many bad situations, and ignored all the good advice that was given to me. 
Good lord, I hope I never have a daughter.


Actually, I take that back. I hope I do. And, I hope to raise her better, and make sure that she knows she's worth more and deserves the world. And if someone can't deliver, then she doesn't need to stick around. Everyone has worth, and deserves to be with someone who treats them with respect and makes them feel loved. Anything less is pointless.


So, what's on your old blogs?

Victory!

I have officially completed thirty days of my "30 Day Shred" workout video. Granted, it took me 45 days to do it... but, I did it! It feels pretty good to accomplish that. I have every intention of continuing though, because I hardly feel "shredded."


As a celebration, I have bought some new jeans. I had jeans from last year, that were a size 10 or 12, that were falling off. I can now fit into a 6. :) However, I tried on a pair of 8s, that were comfier and allowed me to run after MiniSarge and play with him, so I bought a few of those. And, I must say, I am in love with the denim from American Eagle. It's just preppy enough for me, without being too much. And the price isn't so bad either. Hehe. I'm sure the $100+ jeans I was drooling over are awesome, but $30-45 a pair is much nicer on our wallet. :)


Um, let's see, while I have a few minutes before the monster awakes from his nap, I'll update a bit more on how things have been here in our house.
We've begun counting down weeks until this deployment ends, which is exciting, but I'm having trouble getting too excited just yet. I'm more in the mandatory impatient/grumpy mode right now. When I can count days, I'll be happy.
We've dropped to one nap, which has made things easier and harder at the same time.
We're cutting the 3rd and 4th molar currently, which makes the days so fun.
MiniSarge can now run, spin, throw things over-hand, and jump. I'm assuming climbing is next.


I have not been able to keep up with my reading goals. Which, kinda of bums me out. I did pick up a book I'd started a few weeks ago today, and read a few pages while MiniSarge destroyed my living room.


I have been able to keep up with my Netflix movies. And, I haven't really been reading the paper (I read something the other day about a guy drag racing with his gf/wife and 3 year old daughter in the car and crashed, and I threw the paper down. Between that and the articles on fallen soldiers, I give up.), nor magazines.


But, we have been making progress on being more social, and I've kept up the working out, so I feel pretty good. I would feel a lot better if Sarge's internet company weren't a flock of douche bags and we could talk... but, soon that won't be an issue anyway, right? Trying to spin the positive on that. :)


Not so bad here at our house. I am begging for the fall weather to come (yes, partially so I can strut around in my new jeans :D), but it'll be here soon enough. Next month will be awesome!


I will try to update more frequently. Until next time!
<3