I Know Where He Gets His Stubborn-ness From...

I am as stubborn as a man when it comes to going to the doctor, and I will openly admit this. I am equally as stubborn when it comes to asking for help.


This time, however, it really bit me in the ass.


This is my basic thought process when faced with a situation where I should probably ask for some assistance:


"Wow, this really sucks."
"Maybe I should call someone..."
"No. I don't need any help."
"Damn, this really, really sucks."
"If I call them... I'm going to feel like I'm bothering them. I can do this!"
"I can't do this."
"I only have to make it ___(insert number)___ much longer."
"Fuck it... I'm calling someone."
"No. I don't want to drive all the way out there/wait for them to get here."
"They wouldn't really want to help me anyway. Why bother?"
"I got this! -stares at clock- Really."


And that's either when I cave and send a text message between sobs (don't know why, but for some reason, the process of deciding I need help always ends in tears...), or keep on truckin'.


Remember when I said I was sure that being sick was going to end with me going to the hospital? 


It did.


Started feeling sick on Saturday, Sunday was rough, but Monday I was feeling an upswing! Tuesday, I felt like someone was ramming a pencil into my eardrum. I caved and made an appointment. The nurse advised me that if it got bad enough (and it did) that I should go to the Urgent Care Clinic (which, is basically like the ER... but for non life-threatening emergencies, which means my ear-ache would be even further down the list of what is important.). This was one of those situations where I really, really should have called someone. But, I kept convincing myself that no one would answer the phone/be able to. And by the time I really wanted to go, it was too late in the day--the baby was getting ready for bed. I didn't want to have to try to find someone that could come sit here in case he woke, and I didn't want to be at the hospital until 1 or 2 am, just to have to get up with him at 5 or 6. So, I waited it out. I had a dream that I was in the ER and I put a sign on myself that had my name on it so I could catch some Zzz's while I waited. XD


What do I find this morning? Blood in my ear. Yes, blood. I thought, eh, I must have irritated the skin, no biggie. And, it was hurting less, so I figured no big deal.


Haha, silly me.


After seeing the doctor, I am informed that I have a severe ear infection and I shouldn't have waited so long. She was not surprised that I couldn't hear out of my ear, and she honestly couldn't see in there well enough to really see what was going on because it was too swollen. She did say there was blood pooled in it, and she imagined it hurt really bad.


Amazingly, she did not give me any pain medication. Just a z-pack (antibiotics, I can't take most, and these work quicker). I was like, gee, thanks lady.


Will I ever not go right away again? Probably. Will I ask for help sooner next time? Probably not. I really should knock it the fuck off though. I think Sarge is going to give me an earful (haha, pun intended XD) next time we talk. I think I will bring up the time he got shingles earlier this year and decided to wait to go in. ;)


I'm off to eat some soup and cuddle with the cats. Ciao!